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Jun
27

Just Add Baby Bio to Taste

First published 2011 when the cyclone was hitting Australia and The Police.UK website was launched……… It has been an interesting week when it comes to the world of communication, taking into consideration what I do for a living and how long I have been doing it, you would have thought I might have got a better grasp! However, firstly I would like to apologise to any member of the press who acted on my ‘alarm bell’ which I sounded on Wednesday. I phoned Plymouth’s top athlete, Katherine Endacott and by the sound of the ring, it immediately told me that she was abroad. She then gave me a text confirming that she was racing in foreign climbs, I sent a text to her, she sent one back, I scanned the words, and wondered if she was in a very difficult situation.

‘I think Katherine trapped in the cyclone hitting Australia,’ I announced with great dramatic effect.

‘Is she is Queensland?’ said a rather worried journalist beside me. ‘And can we get an interview with her?’ I texted the question. Back came the answer.

‘I’m in Vienna?’

Arr…..I re read first text and realised she said ‘running in Austria’, not… ‘raining in Australia’! Still, being a middle aged man, who is never wrong, I lied and said she was safe in Melbourne and left the room.

When I entered the marital house that evening, I was told by the enemy, the good lady wife, that there was a stir fry waiting for me in the kitchen, all I had to do was to empty the packet into the wok…..or would you like me to do it, was her snide comment! As I am not quite senile and I can read the side of a packet, I assured her I was capable of tipping, what looks like hamster bedding, into a pan and cooking it without poisoning myself, causing actual bodily injury and/or burning down the kitchen. Five minutes later I burnt my fingers trying to fish out the little plastic bag of soy sauce from the scalding hot vegetation. Well, not at any point did she say check the tiny compost heap for foreign bodies! In an attempting to cover up the all encompassing ‘plastic’ flavour to the hearty meal, I added a splash or two of Worchestershire sauce from the handily place bottle by the oven.  Not quite the effect I was looking for as Baby Bio is the same colour and does come in a similar bottle.

I whiled away the rest of the evening trying to get onto the Police.Uk website, the new fantastic window on crime in everyone’s area. I typed in Ivybridge and it linked me through to an article on Bolivian street gangs. Apparently the South American report made better reading than the local crime figures and by the fact that the site kept crashing may also have indicated that some local ‘erbert had stolen a lot of the copper wire from the Ivybridge exchange.

Anyway, off to Derriford now to have an obstruction removed from my lower bowel and check if the Baby Bio is to blame for my sudden outbreak of greenfly .

Fitz