FitzGerald has entered the 20th century

FitzGerald has entered the 20th century

Well, FitzGerald has entered the 20th century, only to discover that the 21st century has been knocking around for a bit already. Yes, in a moment of weakness, I have applied for my tax disc ‘on line’. It has only taken me three hours and cost £1725.00!

During that period I managed to log on, log off, cop on and irritate a member of the French coastguard who I thought was the DVLA helpline. I have been directed, misdirected, re booted and left a threatening message for Bill Gates at his office in the US. I have ordered a Xerox ink toner cartridge, a manicure in Spain and apparently attracted the attention of Eva from www.russianhousewives.com.Oh and at some point I hacked the CIA most wanted list. I am guessing that some of the women from the first website would never be included on the second……errch!

Anyway, after three hours I have finally been promised a tax disc from the DVLA and will display it proudly in hopes the police don’t notice that it is for a 1927 Fordson model F tractor with rotary plough.

I tried, I really tried to follow the guidelines on screen, but I am nearly 50! However, since exiting the wonderful world of website financial transactions, I have noticed that I now hold a fishing licence for Southern Ireland, may use a firearm in Denmark and am allowed to transport low grade beaver tranquiliser over state borders as I seem to have registered myself as a vet in Saskatchewan. The last time I ventured onto any form of e-commerce website, I ordered a 52 kilo pallet of finch food by mistake. I wasn’t going to waste it and started to load the bird table and every sort of container I could find. After two weeks, we had the fattest tits in the village but at least we thinned out the squirrel population with diabetes and strokes. Result!

I am going to log off now as there is a smell of burning rubber coming from the back of the computer and a large truck has arrived in the street outside. Oh god….more bloody finch food.