First published in 2010 when Fitz and ‘The Enemy’ were entered into Strickly Come Pudsey for Children in Need.
Looking back at last week, what a week. Firstly, many thanks for the enquiries on the health of Pablo my cat who appears to have had a slight tussle with a car. Front right leg is now in a cast and he is on the mend. He was a little difficult on the first day and equalled his record of two vets and four assistants to get him into a cage but soon twigged that all he had to do was sit by the radiator with his paw in the air and ‘fatso’ would bring him prawns and honey glazed ham. I wish I was cat!
The entire experience can be summed up with this little adage. Cat cage £20.00. Vets bill so far £1328 and rising. The look on the enemy’s face when I told her that I had forgotten to take out pet insurance…..priceless. I walked into the vet on Thursday and said ‘I’m here to pick up the world’s most expensive cat and the receptionist, without looking up just said, ‘Oh, you mean Pablo.’ So far he has cost me more than my wedding reception…but he is worth every penny…and there I’ll leave the comparison.
On the other leg, there was the small incident of me and the good lady wife dancing for Children In Need at The Plymouth Guildhall, a stunning evening of BBC presenters and ‘professional’ partners gliding around the floor for charity. However, there have been certain accusations of a slack performance when it came to Team FitzGerald and I would like to set the record straight. My ‘professional partner’ was a none starter, but she did not resign on the telephone without seeing me or leave the country as has been suggested. The enemy stepped in at the last minute as she does have cups for dancing from her youth and may I say, can still cut a wiggle when suitably lubricated. I did not say that dancing with her was like trying to shift an MFI wardrobe unaided and any reference to our performance and that of an oil tanker disaster was purely coincidental. Yes I took a long time to stop and turn and yes there was a total disaster at the end of it but I did not take five miles and…..as far as I am aware, no guillemot died in the filming of the production. OK Natalie Cornah did look like Barbara Cartland and another female presenter wore a dress which reminded me of a Travelodge shower curtain but I will admit here and now that my performance was hindered by the fact that my braces had snapped on the first turn and I had left my flies open for the entire routine. That would have caused a lot of drag! On a high note, we were on the leader board…..until the second dancers came to the floor but we were there. Those immortal words from the film The Waterfront came to mind, I could have been a container..sorry… contender.
Yours Fitz
