As the world woke up on Monday 13th June the question on everyone’s lips
was….has the bloody Grand Prix finished yet? Gordon Bennett it only takes seven
hours to fly to Canada, the race took a little longer! I switched on late last night and wasn’t sure whether I was watching the final laps or the shipping forecast. Squinting at a 210 mile an hour Jacuzzi flashing past the camera with a helmet bobbing about in it, has limited appeal and I was losing the will to live by 7.00pm. The rain was so heavy at one time, I was filled with dread that Cliff would start singing in the
stands.
However, at some juncture I may have nodded off and leant on the Sky
controller. The next thing I knew was that a voice telling was me that Murray
was affected by rain. What the hell was Walker doing outside in this weather,
has the BBC no shame putting a man, older than Canada itself, by a race track
with no thermals or brolly? I regained full consciousness to discover that I was
watching a report on the Queens club tennis and managed to switch back just as
two old dears, out for a Sunday jolly, wandered onto the track in their Merc.
They must have been eighty or so and married for some time, that was easy to
tell…….they gave no hand signals, weren’t talking to each other and wouldn’t
pull over…..probably from Sidmouth, you get a lot of that down there. By 9.45pm
I twigged that it was in fact the race car and was being taken out more times
than Jordon. Then there was a lull! I had dinner, wormed the cats, did my
accounts, poked some dish water down the sink and came back to the same F1
presenter adlibbing about the same puddle….sheer genius. Then, we were off
again, Felipe Massa became Felipe Mower, taking to the grass and getting a small
Canadian Gofer wedged up his exhaust pipe. The bloke with the red flag seemed
to be ‘flagging’ himself at one point and was soon hospitalised with R.S.I. as
he had been waving it since lunchtime. He’s doing nicely in hospital but does
have a right arm like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s. Then the final lap…. but it was all
worth waiting for. Benjamin Button got the better of sweaty Vettel and I must say I was
not surprised. It had been a long day for him and I expect he has school
tomorrow and a lot of unfinished homework so his mind may have been
elsewhere.
And so to bed, after writing a letter to the Formula One
authorities asking if they could organize the sale of Olympic tickets……because
let’s face it, if they can actually get a result after that farce, they must be
able to sort out the mess Lord.co.uk has put together.
Fitz
