Well, it has been a long month since we last spoke. Firstly I would like to commiserate with 20th Century Fox for spending all that time and money on the film The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Forking out millions on the film set of a devastated city with hundreds of extras playing primates mindlessly smash up a civilised society must be one of the greatest wastes of money in Hollywood history. Had they have waited six weeks and used the CCTV footage from Tottenham; they could have saved themselves an absolute fortune.
Also, since I last put pen to paper Colonel Gaddifi has been (a) toppled from power… (b) is still in power…. (c) is living in Switzerland…(d) has invaded Egypt…or (e) is now in the Big Brother House. Please ring the correct ending when you read this as I am sure that any day now the international press and politicians might actually get the correct details to us very soon. One of the above will be right!
Hang on…I have just thought of an (f) option. He has just become a director of Plymouth Argyle. He could go for months undetected in that board room!
I did like the recent newspaper headline which read, Prime Minister in Cornwall says Gaddifi must go! What to Cornwall? Perhaps the International War Crimes Tribunal could lie in wait for him at Gydna Way and then when his entourage is nose to tail in the traffic filtration system, the six thousand cones, they could pounce! Obviously they would have to dress as workman and thus might stand out a bit but I am sure they could get away with it. And while they are about it, they could put the works manager of that project in the dock as well!
Anyway, Ratboy the son and heir has just arrived back from his first holiday abroad with ‘da lads’! He has been to Malia in Crete on an all inclusive week at £300.00 which includes flights….yep…high season, all inclusive….£300.00. Malia itself appears to be twinned with an Ann Summers shop and the hotel on Trip Advisor has a slightly better star rating than Guantanamo
Bay but only slightly. It does however boast that the hotel has been used in a couple of films. I can only guess that by looking on their website those films were Saving Private Ryan, the opening scenes…and the 70’s classic Earthquake, although Free Willy may also have had something to do with the pool area.
When I asked what the food was like he said ‘diabolical.’ And this comes from a seventeen year old who has only been home five minutes and has already covered his bed in discarded juice cartoons and the box from an ‘out of date’ chicken wrap he found on the way home! Apparently the flight was delayed by a group of youths dressed only in bra and pants. He was telling me
this as he stuffed a pair of bra and pants into the wash bin. A proud father
moment…one which I will not ask about anymore!
Hang on the phone is going. Please let that be an Indian based double glazing sales firm wanting access to my computer after I have won the Spanish lottery….and not the Greek authorities.
