It has been an interesting couple of weeks of food and fun. Firstly, I did have smile as I stood behind a lady in a local supermarket and heard her ask for ‘teritzo’ sausage. I can only assume that this was a small but foul mouthed delicacy which lies in the chiller cabinet and occasionally has a right go at the pork pie beside it!
Secondly, I was given the honour of opening the new South Devon Chilli Farm shop and was guilty of playing a rather unkind trick on John Sheaves from the local food organisation, The Taste of the West. As he walked in, he spotted me prodding a small bowl of chutney like ‘goop’ with a biscuit. He enquired what I had just eaten and I assured him it was delicious, a special chilli jam like infusion. I had in fact only touched the edge of the cracker with the concoction as it was ‘Extreme Mash’, which registers one million on the Scoville unit scale! For those who don’t know….The Scoville scale is a measurement of the spicy heat (or piquancy) of a chilli pepper. Can I just point out that military use pepper spray is only around 3 million on the Scoville scale…so John’s quarter inch thick spread of the dark desiccated chilli skins was going to hurt! Well….Loddiswell is quite a way from a hospital but give the man his due, he stayed for the opening but then went down to the local river for a drink. At one point, he claimed to be able to see through time and was spotted leaving the car park hanging his tongue out of the car window. Naughty Fitz!
And so to a messy job, but someone has to do it! Each year I get asked to host The Masterchef of Great Britain luncheon. Seven courses, nine wines and a champagne reception! This year we had to fly to Glasgow and then onto the stunning Turnberry Golf Club with 200 of the best chefs and food producers in Great Britain…as I said, it pains me to do it but I suffer for my art. But of course being me I fell foul of the travels plans and on the hottest day of the year, I sat inside at Exeter Airport in their executive lounge, with a free bar, for a bum numbing six hour delay. Where was the Glasgow flight? Holland! And who had agreed to pick up a hire car in Glasgow and couldn’t drink? Me! SIX HOURS IN A FREE BAR AND I HAD A DIET COKE AND A PACKET OF PEANUTS!
When I did finally get on the plane, the crew had to ‘trim the aircraft’, as they said. This meant moving six passengers onto the opposite side of the aircraft from where I was sat! Six! Maybe the diet isn’t working and these ‘all you can eat’ jobs need to stop? To add insult to injury, the stewardess asked me to put my seat belt on.
‘It is,’ I said lifting up my stomach. She shot off and sat on the opposite side of the aircraft as well.
Yours, well rounded
Fitz
