M
any thanks to all those people who watched Inside Out on BBC 1 and have made comment on my month off alcohol. For those who missed it, the challenge was to give up booze for the whole of December and I am glad to say I did it. In fact I lasted 33 days without touching a drop, as I decided to carry it on through to New Years day. This allowed me to drive my guests home after the celebrations and to witness the sights of local revellers on the streets of Ivybridge trying to get back to theirs. I would like to take this opportunity to say hello to Tinkerbelle the vomiting fairy by the roundabout, to Superman, who was hanging off the bus stop sign near the Town Hall, obviously effected by Kryptonite and/or vodka….and to
The Mutant Turtles who were running from door to door in the High Street trying to avoid the rain…..You’re turtles, you’re meant to get wet! People have approached me with various comments on my abstinence; one particular lady did ask me if my drink problem was better? In answer to that, yes it is, I am getting some now but not as much as I was.
It all came to a grinding halt when I hit fifty on January 10th and the arrival of my great friend Frank Kelly from Ireland. Best known for his role as Father Jack in the Father Ted series, I met him at Bristol Airport. The first thing he said to me was. ‘I have lost my pyjamas!’ With life imitating one of his scripts, we spent a few moments making calls and speaking to friends and soon discovered that his pyjamas weren’t ‘actually’ lost, they were in the back of a taxi touring Dublin! They were reunited days later.
No ill effects, but the sober period has thrown up a few problems with my persona; my normal tolerance with cold callers has come under question. One gentleman phoned at six in the evening and asked to speak to the lady of the house. I handed the phone to Kelsey, who technically was the lady of the house….at the time, OK, I will admit that she was a two year old and had a wonderful ten minutes saying hello, gurgling and then leaving the phone in the cat’s basket. Then there was the man from the electricity company who called and said, ‘Scottish Power.’ I said ‘Up the Irish’, and put the phone down. Again never phoned back, can’t think why?
I will leave you with one more observation. Standing in a local café a few days ago, the bloke in front of me asked the assistant if the All Day Breakfast was still being served? I would leave it there but I noticed that the assistant then went and asked the kitchen and I heard ‘head of grease’ say, ‘It stopped at 3.30pm!’
And people wonder why I drink.
Fitz
