Well, Children in Need is over for another year. It was a fantastic success even though I managed to hit a small child with a tambourine and trod on another, very nearly covering her sister with cake. The only children in need I met were the ones I injured!
I know it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas as the first mystery card has arrived at home and bang on December 1st. Apparently Wendy, Fred, Boz and Rilt wish us all the best for the festive period. Boz and Rilt! Who the hell are Boz and Rilt and come to think of it…..Wendy and Fred? Well, that’s what the signatures look like and if I am not mistaken they sent us one last year as well!
The envelope was no help either, the only thing I could read on the heavily smudged postmark was GB and it was posted on November 19th.
Twelve days to get here? GB must stand for Guantanamo Bay.
Wendy, Fred, Boz and Rilt have added that they wish to see us in 2012 which would be fantastic as I would love to find our how we met, why I gave them my address and what possessed them to call their children Boz and Rilt. I suppose it could be that couple we met on holiday last year, he was a chiropractor and she had a strange fungal infection but I don’t remember any children and surely I would recall someone shouting ‘Boz …..Rilt… don’t do that in the pool!’ And what would a chiropractor and woman suffering from athlete’s armpit be doing in Guantanamo Bay anyway…surely it would be the last place that would celebrate Christmas and I doubt if they have a post office or a card shop! Hang on, they might have ordered it from Moonpig and got it posted by a friend…silly me!
This is not the only mystery card I get each year. One comes from an ex England cricketer, who shall remain nameless, who sends it to an address from which I moved 15 years ago and to a wife I divorced ten years ago. To make matters worse, I don’t remember meeting said ex England
cricketer but he obviously has fond memories of my first wife…unlike myself. But like Boz and Rilt’s parents, he doesn’t put a flaming return address on the card/envelope and thus I can’t tell him that I have got rid of house and said wife.
Anyway, at this time of year it’s worth thinking about getting yourself inoculated against the dreadful things that can strike the unwary. Flu is one nasty, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is another. I notice it has been scheduled in the T.V. guide along with Goldfinger and Honey I Shrunk The Kids. I am still waiting for medical science to bring out a jab against The Sound of Music and The Italian Job! Last Christmas I was over exposed to Star Wars and had a touch of the Pink Panther’s on Boxing Day. This year I know I will get Gone with the Wind, but that’s always been a problem of mine.
Yours
Fitz
P.S. Just in case Boz and Rilt read this….it’s great to hear from you again, how are Wendy and Fred?
