It is always nice to go travelling to London, Paris or Rome but oh so much nicer to come home! I can’t remember who wrote those song lyrics
but I am sure they weren’t written in England. When you take a look at the world weather map and Greenland has a slightly better forecast than Devon, you do begin to wonder if the third Ice Age is just around the corner. I have stocked up on anti freeze, summer strength, and waterproof bobble hats. I have trained a pair of binoculars on the bird feeder to see if my local Woolly Squirrel is swinging off my peanuts. What has happened to this fine county’s summer, by now we should all be sweating like a G4S director.
However, the family FitzGerald have just returned from a holiday of a lifetime, Las Vegas, Hawaii and San Francisco and have actually seen
the sun, although I was a little surprised to have rain in The Grand Canyon. By the way, that is some trip hazard; the local council really should consider filling it in or at least coning off a section or two. As pot holes go, that has to be a priority patch up job. Las Vegas was an eye opener. The enemy, the good lady wife, threw caution to the wind and stepped up to a fruit machine. An hour later she walked away with winnings of sixteen cents. I looked round to see if the management were coming after her but we were in the clear so to celebrate we wandered off down the main strip to find a bar and something to eat. It is fair to say that Las Vegas is a little top heavy with ‘odd’ people and as I stood there watching a five foot four, 22 stone woman in a top hat and fishnets singing ‘I will survive’, I heard a local shout to his partner….. ‘Hey this guy is wearing odd socks!’ I have always worn odd socks, at times odd shoes…..what really got to me was that fact that behind the singing sumo wrestler was a four foot Mr T and two Mexicans dressed as Transformers….and they found my socks a little strange! By the way, to the lady singing ‘I will survive’….at that weight and height, I want to see your medical records before I believe that boast.
We found a place to eat offering burgers the size of scatter cushions, honey dipped piglets and French Fries! I chose the 43 oz steak and toilet roll.
Comment on the entire trip….Ratboy, the son and heir stood at the side of the road and said. ‘Does that truck have to be 32 feet long?’
The answer is of course no, but if you have just eaten half a cow and 8 pounds of potatoes, it does help if you can lie back and drive with your feet.
Next time, my adventures in Hawaii.
Yours in snorkel and flippers
Fitz
