I have checked the writings of Nostradamus to see if he predicts the end of the world with the current situation in North Korea and as yet can find no mention of, ‘flaming arrows of fire falling upon the earth from a Far East land launched by a man who bares a striking resemblance to Benny Hill.’ I could be wrong…but then again so was he. Nostradamus died in 1566 and didn’t predict that either.
And so to this weeks wonderful world of whacky stories from the press. I was fascinated to read that ‘name meshing’ is now the trend when couples get married. What is name meshing? Well, when the actor Chris O’Dowd married TV presenter Dawn Porter last year, the two of them meshed! They merged their surnames, and became the O’Porters. Only last week, a couple called Miss Griffin and Mr Pugh got spliced and are now starting out on wedded life as Mr and Mrs Puffin. Yes, honestly. According to the UK Deed Poll service, almost 800 British newly weds have already “meshed” their names together this year. It’s nothing new, in my day the hyphen was all the rage for a while and produced some stunning monikers. The North Devon family of the Pine-Coffins will always raise a smile with me as will a Major I met at Sandhurst called Charles Orpen-Smellie. You would have thought that if you have the chance to ditch Smellie as a name it would be a priority but no, it was preserved for all to see. By the way, I also met a Major Major there as well. But anyway, name
changes can be embarrassing. My friend Pippa Baron was getting married and realised at the top of the church isle she was about to become Pippa Pappin and thus would spend he rest of her life spitting on people so an emergency double barrel, Baron-Pappin, was organised, although I always thought she resounded like a World War One fighter ace.
I would have tired meshing with the enemy, the good lady wife, but Fitzfield sounds like a council run waste disposal site and Fieldfitz, a rare thrush from Russia. I would love to have seen my old school friend John Hemmersly marry Elenor Oldroyd from Radio Five Live. Mr and Mrs Hemmerroyd has a wonderful ring about it. Go on, sit there and work out with the other half what you would become. It’s pointless, ridiculous but fun and takes your mind of the troubles of life. There are some pitfalls, long standing unmarried friends of ours with surnames Stewart and Adams would become the Sadams, about as popular a name as Kim Jong-un. Mind you, if this was to catch on, I assume that the surname Tucker would die out almost overnight.
