I mentioned last week that I had to fly to Dublin for an emergency party and I can report that a great time was had by all, but only after navigating Heathrow. It never ceases to amaze me that in the 21st century, flying is still one of those hit or miss affairs to actually getting where you want to go.
The enemy, the good lady wife and I, had to stay in London the night before and she suggested that we get up at 6.30 a.m. to get across the city and on to the Piccadilly Line to save money. We had already booked the cheapest possible option with ‘We will get you as close as we can’ airlines and were now looking at saving more money. Apparently the Heathrow Express was ‘flaming’ expensive according to her and a taxi would have cost more than the flights so twenty eight stops later we arrived at 8.20 a.m. and wandered up to the check in desk of our Irish airline.
‘Morning,’ said a rather startled hostess. ‘Which flight?’
‘The 11.00 a.m.,’ I said and handed her the paperwork.
‘Oh, the 11.00am is delayed.’
‘Delayed, how can it be delayed? It’s 8.20 a.m. and coming from Ireland, I doubt if the pilot has finished his Frosties let alone got to the airport yet.’
‘I can get you on the 10.00 a.m.’ she said helpfully.
I gave in and she sorted the tickets.
As I sat there hovering up a Full English, I noticed that the departures board didn’t have a 10.00 a.m. to Dublin and so I retraced my steps.
‘There is no 10.00 a.m.,’ I pointed out.
‘No…. you are quite right. It’s the 09.50 a.m. which is delayed a bit but not as much as the 11.00 a.m.’
I frowned.
‘It could be worse,’ she said. You could be on the 12.00!’
‘Is that delayed as well?’
‘No…….cancelled.’
She had got me there! Anyhow, at 10.10 a.m. passengers from the delayed 09.50 a.m., the ‘would be’ delayed 11.00 a.m. and the non existent 12.00, piled onto the 10.00 a.m., which was now ten minutes late and waited thirty five minutes to take off. On landing in Dublin, we were asked to hold on the apron and arrived at the terminal gate at 11.55 a.m. ……..five minutes earlier than our original 11.00 a.m. flight would have got us there. The pilot then apologised for the late arrival to the confusion of the majority of the plane who had actually arrived early, apart for the ones who were late!
On the way back, the flight was disappointingly on time. The only other thing to laugh about was the tannoy at Paddington railway station.
The automatic voice was breaking up and announced that the train on Platform 6 was stopping at ‘eading.. ‘ewsey… ‘iverton.. Exeter St… vid’s and mutant Abbot.
Yours ‘issed off with ‘eathrow
‘itz
