So, our dear Prime Minister has been to Ibiza and we have seen some lovely photographs of he and the Mrs relaxing in the sun, sipping at espressos.
Ratboy, the son and heir, brought back a totally different set of images from Ibiza and never mentioned espresso sipping once. Maybe Mr Cameron’s piccys have been touched up? Perhaps the real images would show that he left the resort wearing only a set of pants with the words ‘I love Vodka’ in six languages printed on them. Maybe he had to phone home at one pone point in order to get some more money because the breakfasts were a bit expensive. This I questioned, as the chances of Ratboy begin up in time for breakfast or indeed in the right hotel when breakfast was served, was doubtful but emergency money had to be transferred. Maybe he couldn’t phone home at all because his brand new mobile was stolen in The Electric Ferret Club during the Transvestite and Foam party or maybe Sandra, a for lift truck driver form Rotherham, who bares a striking resemblance to Wayne Rooney will be bombarding his Facebook with messages and memories of drinking cocktails out of a dustbin lid on the beach at 4.00 am. I am not sure if Mr Cameron is back in the country yet, maybe he will be stopped and refused entry to the plane until he can find both shoes, remove the women’s underwear and remember which country he wants to get off at! Still I look forward to Prime Ministers Question Time in the house when he stands up to reveal a new tattoo and an eyebrow missing, along with his driving licence, watch and part of some very expensive bridge work. And when I say the images brought back by Ratboy, they are purely figurative images as the camera he took is still there in the u bend of an ‘all you can eat’ pizza and chips restaurant.
There has been some criticism of the Prime Minister being in Ibiza when the country was facing new problems on its streets. The MP Nadine Dorries came to his rescue with a wonderful quote “We have got the internet, we’ve got mobile phones,” she said. ”I think Mr Cameron could actually get back from Ibiza to London quicker than if he was in Cornwall.” I will give her that one; journey times are a little slow down here mainly because of the lack of investment in the roads, rail and air! In fact getting anywhere from the West Country to any part of mainland UK is quite a challenge at the best of times. I tried to get to Guildford last Friday. Six hours and thirty five minutes via the NCP car park called the A303. Ibiza to Heathrow is 2 hours fourteen minutes by air via a thing called an airport….Plymouth had one once, remember.
Fitz
